Watch the preview for
The Toxic Avenger
Cast of Characters!
Melvin- A 90 pound weakling who works as a janitor at the Tromaville Health Club. After Julie and Bozo play a cruel joke on him, Melvin is chased to the second floor of the club by an army of hecklers. Unfortunately he doesn't have brakes and ends up smashing through a window and swimming in toxic sludge which then turns him into...
The Toxic Avenger- A hideously deformed monster of super-human size and strength! He seeks out and destroys all evil in Tromaville instinctively and eventually rids the town of all its criminals. He will be referred to as Toxie for the duration of the review (and his film series).
Bozo- Psychotic health club member who enjoys running down pedestrians (for points). Gee... it kind of reminds me of Death Race 2000. Anyways, Toxie gives him some driving lessons and takes Bozo for a ride over a cliff.
Slug and his Girlfriend- Two of Bozo's friends. Slug is choked to death and thrown out of a moving car. His girlfriend is placed on some "hot-rocks" in a sauna.
Julie- Bozo's girlfriend. She figured in greatly with the prank on Melvin. She's supposedly murdered off screen with a pair of scissors.
Cigar Face, Knuckles, and Nipples- Three gang members that Toxie maims. Cigar Face has his face and genitalia used as a punching bag by Toxie. Knuckles gets his nose smashed in and Nipples gets both his eyes poked out. Toxie delivers them both the coup de gras by smashing their heads together.
Mayor Peter Belgoody- The cause of Tromaville's crime wave. It makes you wonder why any town would elect such a fat slob as their mayor. Toxie punches a hole in his stomach to see if the "good" mayor "has any guts."
Sara- Toxie's blind girlfriend. She loves him despite the fact he's a hideous monster who goes around murdering criminals.
Lovely Tromaville, land of hazardous waste and nerdy janitors. Nerdy until they leap from second story windows and land in a drum of toxic waste. (They go together, they just don't GO together - remember back to your high school dating scene, you'll understand.) And so Melvin became the Toxic Avenger, a horribly deformed monster driven to destroy evil. Destroy is an especially apt term, he rips off arms (Then beats people with them.), crushes heads, and jams a mop into the skull of each vanquished criminal. Oh, he falls in love too! With a beautiful, bountiful, blonde, blind, bimbo named Sara. She's cute enough, unfortunately if there's one place she's going to put that cane it's into the closest man's crotch. Lucky for us that ends up being Toxie most of the time, nuclear gonads are nigh invulnerable to whacking. The monster previously known as Melvin has another score to settle, with the jerks responsible for his condition. Bozo and pals enjoy running down people with the car. It's the good old points system, so much for an old lady, so much for a kid, you know the joke. By the way, bike helmets don't help much when somebody really wants you churned into road mush. Melvin's worst enemy is the corrupt mayor and his pack of faithful cronies, he's worried about the "Monster Hero" coming after him. So he manipulates facts, forcing the Governor to call out the National Guard. With a ring of tanks and soldiers surrounding him it's only the kind hearts of Tromaville's citizens which save Toxie, even after he disembowels the mayor. (That was a big man, lots of guts.)
Bozo: "He's stressing me Julie! He's stressing me!"
Knuckles: "If he don't take the dough, I'm gonna give him a blow!"
Toxie: "And you can tell all your scum friends that things are gonna change in this town. I'm not just another pretty face!"
Toxie: "Hohohoho. No ticky no washy!"
Toxie: "Let's see if you have any guts!" (Punches a hole in the mayor's stomach.)
Things to watch for:
- Beginning - So this is what an actual health club is like?
- 6 1/2 minutes - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 9 minutes - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A KID ON A BIKE!
- 9 3/4 minutes - Full Uncut HEAD CRUSHING SCENE!
- 11 1/2 minutes - How couldn't that guy feel a snake being put down his shirt?
- 16 minutes - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 17 minutes - Melvin makes out with a sheep.
- 18 minutes - Melvin dives into a barrel of toxic waste!
- 21 1/2 minutes - Melvin transforms into... the TOXIC AVENGER!
- 24 1/2 minutes - Toxie pummels Cigar Face, Knuckles, and Nipples.
- 31 minutes - Toxie finds a new place to live. Hehehehe.
- 36 minutes - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A SEEING EYE DOG!
- 45 minutes - Is that Ron Jeremy?! Nah... it couldn't be... could it?
- 47 1/2 minutes - Ewww... slug's girlfriend is masturbating!
- 55 minutes - A hard to see... RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 57 minutes - Hehehehehe. Going up?
- 59 1/4 minutes - RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A MIDGET!
- 63 minutes - Bozo's corpse hardly has a scratch on it, even though his car went off a cliff and exploded!
- 73 minutes - The National Guard mobilizes against Toxie!
- 78 minutes - Hey look, the mayor does have guts (literally speaking).
- 80+ minutes - End Credits!